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Debate: Trout or Harper?

Wednesday, June 6, 2012 9:05 AM

Stats. Seriously, who wants to hear stats? People who don't want to come off like they don't know baseball. I know I don't. When I hear stats, it makes me think of facts. I don't know about you guys, but I hate hearing facts. I don't care if it means something is true or not.

The whole "Harper is better than Trout/Trout is better than Harper" debate is going to go on for a long time. Mainly because they are both built from machines. I can sit here and literally tell you stats that will bore you, tell you who is the better of the two (which by the way is dumb because both are literally doing exactly the same at this very moment), but I'm not about stats. I'm about statements. So, from a person who is a firm believer in making statements that are completely untrue just to make my argument sound better, I give to you my five reasons on why Trout is better than Harper.

- Mike Trout plays every position…at the same time. He's that fast.

-When Mike Trout was 20, he won the rookie of the year. "But he's 20 now." Weird, Mike Trout can see into the future.*

-Mike Trout started Chuck Norris' Facts because he felt bad that Chuck Norris career was fading.

-Mike Trout is down with O.P.P….and OBP, OPS, SLG, etc etc Zzzzzzzzzzzz

-Mike Trout was the Prom King at Bryce Harpers Prom…Trout didn't even go to that High School

*Mike Trout couldn't tell me if I was staying in the MLB Fan Cave all season. I know, I was bummed too.

So there you have it. Be sure to tweet your reasons as to which rookie is better to us @MLBFanCave or to me @iBlogBetter. Obviously I'm bias because I'm having Trout start Ricardo Marquez Facts so my comedy career can resurrect.

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