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Wedding with Natitude

Thursday, September 6, 2012 7:14 PM

I don’t know if it’s me getting older, or the fact that I can’t find love, but it seems that every one in my life is getting married. My buddy Jerry is getting married next month and a few MLB players will be taking the plunge too.

According to the invitation I received in the mail Sarah Kogod of the Washington Post, it looks like seven Nationals players will be spending time finding something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue--or red. Unless red clashes with the color scheme, AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN RIGHT, FELLAS?! So I just want to give a massive congrats to Michael Morse, Ross Detwiler, Craig Stammen, Jordan Zimmermann, Ryan Zimmerman, Edwin Jackson and Corey Brown. What? You thought that was it. No no. Seeing as how my invitation to your weddings were lost in the mail, allow me to give you some great marriage advice. It might come in handy.

1. You’re Always Right – “But, Ricardo, I thought it was the exact opposite” Uh, no dude. You obviously haven’t seen the movie The Break-Up. He was always right and things worked out for Vince Vaughn. "But Jennifer Anniston left him." You obviously saw the wrong movie.

2. Cake Fight – Women love cake fights. Especially one big days like weddings and when they spend a ton of money looking pretty for you. I promise you that putting your future wife’s face in the wedding cake is going to go well.

3. Communication is Key – Now, couples need to always communicate. Lucky for you, technology is there to help out. Never talk to her in person. Always shoot her a text and sign her up for Twitter.

4. Have Friends Over All the Time – I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Newly Weds don’t need to spend ALL the time alone. Invite Harper to come over and play video games on a nightly basis.

5. Don’t Listen to Me – I’ve been single for quite some time and obviously have no idea how to make a relationship work. WHY DID SHE LEAVES ME, GUYZ!?

If you have any marriage advice for the soon to be newly wed Nationals, let me know @iBlogBetter on Twitter or over @MLBFanCave. Congrats, guys!

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