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Bryan Harper Has an Epic Stache

Thursday, April 4, 2013 7:35 PM

If you haven’t read my previous blog comparing Joba Chamberlain’s moustache to Cole Hamels' (now shaven) moustache, please do so here.

Now allow me to say that Joba’s and Hamels' moustaches are PATHETIC compared to the spectacle that is Bryan Harper’s moustache.

Bryan is Bryce Harper’s older brother. He’s a pitcher for the Single-A Hagerstown Suns (Nationals) and quite possibly the coolest-looking guy in baseball (behind Josh Reddick and his hairy face).

I grew up with two brothers and I was always trying to one-up them, so I know the train of thought for Bryan Harper.

“Bryce is one of the best players in the MLB. I’m stuck in class-A and might not get my chance to be a star. Bryce even grew that cool beard. It’s no Josh Reddick, but still… I think I know what I’ll do. I’m growing a ridiculous moustache. I’m gonna grow one so good. Oh, man… it’ll be twirly and black. I’ll sacrifice all communication with women. I’ll probably get made fun of and never be taken seriously, but I don’t care. I will have better facial hair than my lame brother. My moustache is going to be the best, you guys. Guys? Hey, where did you guys go? Fine, leave. My baseball cards from the 70’s agree with me.”

Bryan Harper – 10/10 PoFCitM

What do you score his moustache? Comment below!

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