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An Analysis of Little Big League

Thursday, April 11, 2013 9:50 AM

No nonsense credits. Show baseball immediately. Dig it.

Billy shows his skills within the first page of the script, explaining the rule where if three players all end up on the same bag, the bag goes to the lead runner, and the other two batters are out. The ump even had to ask for his tutelage. Hi, Billy. What are you, smart or something?

Billy doesn’t tuck in his jersey.

This is a near perfect baseball script, and I’m only in the third scene. We know the best player on the team, the foreshadowing of the inept GM, the charm and youth in the octogenarian owner and his grandson, Billy, who still eats hot dogs with mustard in the owner’s box while everyone else eats cru d'etat.

“How’s your mom? Say hi to her for me,” says star first baseman Lou Collins to a pre-teen. Ok, we know this guy’s priorities. Can’t predict a 3-2 changeup with bases loaded, but totally hits on a woman, vicariously through her son.

Wow, Grandpa! Even you think Lou should be with Billy’s mom, i.e. your daughter in law. Grandpa’s pep talk is… creepy.

Roger Clemens was on the Red Sox. I almost forgot.

Within the first 11 minutes, we already have our first monologue preaching how baseball is a metaphor for life, and to seize every opportunity you got. Tear?

Billy is, so far, a bad student, a bad athlete and unaware of how humans try to copulate. He is, however, a total savant when it comes to baseball statistics and strategy. Billy might do really well in the MLB Fan Cave.

SPOILER ALERT! Grampuh dies. Did he record his will like the week before he died? He looks exactly the same.

SHELLY! Billy’s grandfather died like, this week! You’re asking for his autograph? You’re the 12-year old version of the Kissing Bandit. Get used to a life unfulfilled.

No offense, Billy, but the wide interior shot of the Metrodome… I dunno. I’d rather own Target Field.

Geez, Dennis Farina! Take it easy! If you keep up with the poor attitude, you might be fired and replaced… #foreshadowing

Further crack analysis throughout the season. Stay tuned with mlbfancave.com!

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