05/09/09 6:50 AM ET
Manny becomes topic of late-night circuit
Leno, Kimmel weigh in on slugger's suspension
By John Schlegel / MLB.com
ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" touched on the subject Thursday, and NBC's "Tonight Show" host Jay Leno led off Friday's show with a string of jokes about the situation."Right before (Thursday) night's game, officials said it's a family sport and they will not tolerate any performance-enhancing drugs," Leno said. "And then they showed the usual commercials for Viagra and Cialis." Leno cracked that Ramirez's replacement would be Brett Favre, and that he shouldn't have gotten "painkillers from Paula Abdul." And he made note of the fact the Dodgers snapped their 13-game home winning streak to start the season once Manny was out of the lineup. "Actually, last night without Manny the Dodgers lost their first home game of the season. So I think it's safe to say he wasn't sharing the drugs with the rest of the team," Leno said. Both comedians made mention of the fact that Ramirez was suspended for a women's fertility drug -- human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). "Maybe he's having a sex change, I don't know," Kimmel cracked. "He's already got Whoopi Goldberg's hair." Parking lot security man and Kimmel sidekick Guillermo Diaz, who gained attention by asking a question and sharing a hug with Ramirez during his first press conference in L.A. last year, also got into the act. "Guillermo loved Manny, and as soon as he heard the news, he took action," Kimmel said to introduce a video clip that started with Guillermo watching the Ramirez news on TV. "Manny! You gotta be kidding me," Guillermo said, then leaving the room. "How can you do this to L.A.? Forty-five million, for this? We need to have a talk with Manny." Guillermo gets on the freeway, drives to Dodger Stadium and then they show footage from last year's press conference. But this time Guillermo is dubbed in to say steroids are stupid and Ramirez agrees and then the footage of the two hugging as they actually did at the original press conference. Meanwhile, Leno wrapped up his bit on the subject with a proposal. "With all these athletes failing these drug tests, maybe the problem is the drug tests," he said. "Maybe these tests are too damn hard. So many guys are failing, maybe we should grade it on a curve or something."
John Schlegel is a national reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.